We can talk about what we think we should do later."John smiled, letting me know he likes that idea. "Can we act like we are dating tonight though?"I tried not to look to surprised or weird by this request, but probably failed."Yes we can, but I need to know why." My friends have been giving me issues about having been single for so long, and I don't want to deal with them nagging me. Especially because I'll have a hot girl with me. Plus, my ex from high school will be there, and I don't want to look like I didn't move on." Who's the hot girl? And, your ex will be there?" You are the hot girl. Yes, my ex, Katie, will be there. It's not like she's still part of my friend group just because, she's part of it because she is now engaged to my friend Mark." Didn't know you used the word 'hot' to describe your friends. So, you and Katie broke up, and your buddy gave her comfort? That sucks." Yeah, she couldn't date a man going into the military. She needed someone that was going straight. She came into the bar I was working in just before closing one night.Took one look at my face and left as I glared my lack of appreciation ather attempted greeting. I needed this job and I did not need everyone'looking' at me. She had been up and bubbly, something I hadn't seen fora while. But one glance had blown that away. It was two weeks ofmessages and grunted one syllable responses before we spoke again.Guilt? Oh hell yes. But I had to live too. This was not easy for anyone,ever.The year dribbled by and became another and stumbled along, month bymonth, as we re-established a pattern of call and talk. Thirty-one cameand went, as did Christmas and New Years. Sara had a job and a newgarden apartment. I began a semi regular visit for coffee and chat. Onceor twice stayed the night as talk turned to drink turned to mutualstupor. But much as we might silently bitch and moan about aloneness andthe universe's petty minded cruelty, there was always someone worse off.A lot worse, as we.
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